60-Second Stretch

If you find most NHOs to be "less than effective," I have an idea you can steal. In fact, I hope you do.

For those who've been "lucky" enough to sit through a mind-numbing corporate orientation, you'll understand when I say that most of these things are a huge waste of time and energy. Why so harsh? Well, in my experience, a new employee cannot possibly remember the overwhelming amounts of detail we throw at them. Yet somehow we feel compelled to continue this archaic practice.

That's why I'm challenging some brave soul to rethink the entire process. What if--stay with me, here--we made orientation exactly that: an orientation. Think of it literally. When we are in a new geographical area, we have to orient ourselves to the surroundings. That has never once meant learning every detail about every detail. When visiting a city for the first time, no one needs to know the name and function and leadership structure of every company in town. New hires don't need to know all that stuff either. More than anything, I think new hires need to be given a functional road map of the company and then shown how to use that map to get answers to questions as they arise. Most importantly, they need to be made to feel like what they just signed on to really matters. They need to walk away feeling that this journey with your company, though not without challenges, will be exciting and full of people willing to help along the way. If properly oriented, a new hire then has a reason to pursue knowledge that will aid in the day-to-day, rather than being inundated with it up front and out of context.

“So me and my buddies were out in the fields watching the sheep. It was a dark, cold night; little moonlight and few visible stars. We could hear the wolves howling in the distance, which added to the creepy factor. Most shepherds didn't work at this time of year. We were the 'lucky ones' I suppose, but it was tough, smelly, long work. And fighting off hungry predators was not our favorite past time. I suppose you could say we were all a little tense. When we looked up and an angel of the Lord was standing near us, I literally thought I was going to die. I've never been so scared in all my life.”

Every so often, a project comes along that allows you the freedom to be truly creative. That was the case with this project I developed for a large long-term care organization back in February 2010.

The Clinical division had a proprietary process that they had developed over the years to ensure that Medicare claims were properly documented and filed. The trouble was that the turnover in healthcare is so high, keeping everyone on the same page concerning that critical process was almost impossible. I was asked to build an eLearning course that associates could access any time which would help continually educate the ever-changing workforce. In a brainstorming session, I came up with the idea of doing a spoof of the Twilight Zone. The client loved it! I immediately developed a cursory plot and some story-board graphics for how the plot would teach the basics already determined by the client. Working with an award-winning media team, a script was written and we were off to the races. I developed all of the graphics, the user interface, portions of the script designed for voice-over work, and everything that goes along with the educational content and flow of the course itself. As you can see, I wanted a working, vintage TV set, which was no small feat using Lectora and a heavily restricted distribution network.

In case you haven't noticed, facial hair is all the rage right now. No-Shave November. Movember. For those of us who've been in the beard and mustache wearing biz for many years (over 25 for me), we say it's long overdo. In fact, maybe that's what wrong with our country: We haven't had a president with facial hair since the early 1900s (credit Honest Abe with starting the trend in the 1860s). Anyway, I digress.
If you are serious about being a part of the facial hair phenomenon, here are some tips--no, strike that--rules that you must follow for everyone's safety:

1. Get a Stiff Upper Lip. Listen, if you aren't either a real cowboy or in a motorcycle gang, trim your mustache. Personally, I never have understood the desire to grow your mustache until it covers the upper lip. It's a hygiene issue. Food on the mustache is just an unacceptably low standard. However, if you choose to violate this rule of hygiene, at least make sure that the mustache is properly groomed (meaning all the same length while covering your upper lip). Come on man, take some pride in your 'stache.
2. Neck Beards Are Not Okay. Even certified rebels such as cowboys and bikers don't often violate this rule. You are not a caveman. Beards are an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10, but too much of anything is still too much. Beards were meant for the face. Shave your neck. Every day.
3. Don't Ignore Those Face Deserts. There is no shame in having a region of your face that is barren. It happens to the best of us. But pretending that it has hair doesn't make the hair magically grow in those deserts. Instead, experiment with a style and technique that makes the desert blend in naturally. If you are new to facial hair (or have never really given your pride much thought), you may be surprised to know that there are many ways to show off your whiskers. Take a look at sites such as http://www.beards.org/ or http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/ for inspiration.

"We have now for many centuries triumphed over nature to the extent of making certain secondary characteristics of the male (such as the beard) disagreeable to nearly all the females--and there is more in that than you might suppose." --C.S. Lewis

"There is always a period when a man with a beard shaves it off. This period does not last. He returns headlong to his beard." --Jean Cocteau

"Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there!" --Minnie Pearl

A few millenia ago when I was working with youth pastors, I wrote an article that really summed up my "belief" about God's manner of discipling us:

“Wanna know what life was like for me growing up? Watch Flipper. That was me . . . only I had a dog instead of a dolphin. I learned to water-ski when I was seven. I learned to sail at eight. I got my first boat when I was in the fifth grade. And I also had a horse. I went everywhere either by water or by horse. If the sun was shining, I was outside. Once I got older, it drove my dad crazy. He’d say, ‘When are you going to start thinking about your career?’ My answer was, ‘Oh, when I’m about thirty-five.’ That’s pretty much the way it happened.”

Eric Partin’s love for the outdoors was one of the definitive characteristics of his ministry to students. Just ask Chris, the 21-year-old worship leader who has worked with Eric since age thirteen.

“Pastor Eric has been like a father to me, really. He’s spent a lot of time with me over the years. He taught me how to surf, how to snowboard, and how to windsurf. He was with me the first time I ever saw snow and the first time that I saw the mountains.”

One of the key lessons Eric learned over fourteen years of youth ministry was that in order to really impact someone’s life, you have to spend time with them. So he used his love for the outdoors to give him the time he needed.

“I’ve taken my leaders on trips every year. We go snow-skiing, sailing, boating, hiking, surfing . . . whatever.” He once took a group of tenth graders to Moab for a biking/hiking/kayaking excursion. “It gives us a chance to learn to trust one another at a much deeper level than I can accomplish in a leadership training session.”

Eric is now a successful senior pastor in Florida’s panhandle, but his ministry style hasn’t changed a whole lot: “Looking back, it is easy to see how God used my experiences to shape my life and ministry.”

To this weekend's (quarter million?) new @HP Touchpad owners, I'd like to extend a warm and sincere welcome to the #WebOS community.

For those like myself who have been WebOS users since day one (June 2009!), it is an experience like no other (trials and tribulations notwithstanding). Hopefully, over the course of the coming weeks, you'll come to understand why we are so passionate about this platform. HP's loss is your gain. And with the strength of our new numbers, we should be able to convince developers to continue working to bring new (as well as porting pre-existing) apps to the catalog.

As a newcomer, you no doubt have many questions. I highly recommend you bookmark the following sites as they are the community experts on all things WebOS. I've listed the web address and the Twitter handle for you:

@webOSroundup -- http://www.webosroundup.com/

@precentral -- http://www.precentral.net/

Again, welcome to the community. Long live WebOS!